MetalMark -- Six Sentences #5

The rough, first draft of MetalMark is done. I've moved on to revising, which for me is sometimes fairly in-depth and requires major heavy lifting. The first thing I did was add a new opening chapter. I decided to post my first six sentences today. Then,  when I looked at them, ready to publish, I realized I didn't like them as the first sentences. They weren't enough to bring the reader in. So, a little rearranging and these are the latest opening lines. Let me know, would you keep reading?

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Time to get this over with.

Sitting at his desk and ignoring the sick feeling in his gut, he started the signalcast device that was of yet, still unfamiliar to him.

“Prince Lye,” the disemboweled voice answered immediately. Someone always did, though he knew they didn’t sit by their communications device anxiously awaiting his decision. “Do we have an agreement?”

“My blood samples in exchange for a seat in the Syndicate.”

Edited to Add: Thanks for the catches on "disemboweled". Yes, it should be disembodied. You guys rock! Editors rock. They keep us from doing these sorts of things in public. I'm sure I was caught in the "sick feeling in his gut" imagery & made that mixup. Thanks again & I'm leaving it as is since that's how I posted it!

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MetalMark -- Six Sentences #4

This week, I thought I'd give a glimpse from the POV of the heroine's best friend, Shifty. She's been so much fun to write that I'm as concerned for her happy ending as I am for the heroine's.

She hurried away as fast as she could on her blasted legs—short and not shapely enough to make up for it. Not like Tami, whose body was damn perfect. She’d do her, and she wasn’t even a man.

She concentrated on keeping her face still, the tears at bay, until she got to her lab behind the closed door. She slid to the floor and covered her face, unable to keep the sobs from ripping from her chest.

This abstinence shit was hard.

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MetalMark -- Six Sentences #3

Last week, we left off with the heroine's first glimpse of the hero. Here's the hero's POV from MetalMark, my SF Romance, lust in space, work in progress:

The red witch with the tantalizing scent drew up straight, and Lye sensed her recognition of him at that precise moment. Like the fields of sage growing on the Mountain of Solace, the heady aroma of her arousal grew thick and his shaft tightened. Again.

He’d never experienced this heightened awareness for a mate. He nearly snorted in derision at himself. Of course he hadn’t experienced it, or even now he’d have a partner.

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Romance Trading Cards

These are designs for my first two Romance Trading Cards! I'll be handing these out at the RWA National Conference in New York and I'm making arrangements to send them to the RT Book Lovers Convention. Check out the RTC website for more on other authors who will have cards.
I'll share more when they're ready!

MetalMark -- Six Sentences #2

Last week, we left off with...

...the prince asked, "Red?"

Her hand shot to her hair before she could stop it. Used to the mane that fell midback, she hadn’t considered the impact it would have on a Brutusian. The entire race had black hair and green eyes until they attained the status of elder when both turned silver. Since the infestation of the biomechanical MetalMark, the turned citizenry shaved or cut short their hair to leave the back of the neck bare.

Bright auburn hair, free and long, had to be a sight this prince had never seen before.

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