Sunday, April 17, 2011

MetalMark -- Six Sentences #6


This is the first kiss in MetalMark, Science Fiction Romance manuscript I'm revising.

***
“Beautiful,” he whispered, an eternity later as his lips rested a heartbeat away from hers.

She rubbed her mouth back and forth across his, light as gossamer, the tickling sensation gripping his throat and sending small bumps over his skin.

God’s Stone!

He’d never known his first kiss would travel over his entire body, that the touch of one point could make him shudder all over.

Reluctant, he pulled back, not daring to take more from her so soon in their courtship.

Jazz caught at the back of his head and halted his retreat.
***
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25 comments:

graylinfox said...

His first kiss!?! I can't wait to read what else he learns!

Sandra Sookoo said...

Wow, nice kiss! "...heartbeat away from hers..." Awesome!

Laura Kaye said...

Sexy and sensual! Loved!

Liz said...

Sigh............ nice

Cate Masters said...

Woot - not so fast! Love her assertiveness. Excellent descriptions.

D L Jackson said...

Oh I love it when a woman takes charge. Love the kiss.

Jessica Subject said...

That is one powerful kiss! I love that she "halted his retreat". Great six!

Liana Brooks said...

Good girl, Jazz. Don't let him get away!

Sandy Nachlinger said...

Tantalizing. Makes me wonder what else she's going to teach him.

Hailey Edwards said...

Beautifully done, Ella. His sense of wonder is priceless.

Gem Sivad said...

Oh, that's sooo delicious. Perfect six!

Lynne Murray said...

Great sensuous scene--love his reaction and her determination not to let him go!

Eleri Stone said...

I don't think she's done with him yet. He's such an interesting character. Can't wait to read this.

Marie Dees said...

Great kiss. And such an interesting choice of cuss words.

Lindsay said...

Love 'light as gossamer'. Great six.

Lorien Velez said...

Great six! Sweet and amazing. :)

J.A. Beard said...

Oh, nice. First kiss.

Also, nice to see a sci-fi romance. Always seems like there is a shortage of those. :(

Stacey Kennedy said...

Damn right...more kisses please!! Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verna Clay said...

"...halted his retreat." Love the visual image.

Alanna Coca said...

Sexy kiss. Sigh. I feel like I need a cigarette.

Lisa Fox said...

A beautiful first kiss.

diannehartsock said...

Sweet and beautiful. First kisses should always be like this!

Pippa Jay said...

Lovely six - sigh.

Brenda ND said...

What a great kiss!

Zee Monodee said...

Intense!