Sunday, March 6, 2011

MetalMark -- Six Sentences #2


Last week, we left off with...
...the prince asked, "Red?"

Her hand shot to her hair before she could stop it. Used to the mane that fell midback, she hadn’t considered the impact it would have on a Brutusian. The entire race had black hair and green eyes until they attained the status of elder when both turned silver. Since the infestation of the biomechanical MetalMark, the turned citizenry shaved or cut short their hair to leave the back of the neck bare.

Bright auburn hair, free and long, had to be a sight this prince had never seen before.
***
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31 comments:

chris said...

Very cool, Ella.

Gem Sivad said...

I'm really hooked. Great six and I'll be back for more.

gem

Jessica Subject said...

I wonder what situation she'll find herself in due to her hair. Great six!

Kerrianne Coombes said...

This snippet has left me with loads of questions.. very intriguing! Cool.

Fallon said...

What a great example of world building using only a few sentences. I'll be back for more!

Sarah Grimm said...

The red hair is going to get her in trouble, isn't it? Love your six!

~Sarah

Stacey Kennedy said...

I love your writing!! Can't wait for more! :)

graylinfox said...

I'm hooked and have an idea of the world you created just from these six. I want more.

Marsha A. Moore said...

Great visual...very intriguing!

Sandra Sookoo said...

Nice job of pulling me in!

heatherthurmeier said...

Nice snippet. I totally want to read more!

Ann Mayburn said...

Very erotic use of such a simple gesture. Love it!

Lisa Fox said...

What a unique world this is! I can't wait to read more.

Taryn Kincaid said...

Excellent world-building. Love the way you got the heroine's description in, even though we're in her POV, and also trickled in info and backstory! Nicely done!

Casi said...

That's great! I like the read.

I'll definitely have to come back and read more, and I can't wait until I can read the whole thing.

But of course, he's going to fall in love with the exotic beauty now.

Keri Ford said...

Love it Ella!! Already she's getting into something....I see trouble ahead!

Edie Ramer said...

Great six! I read last week's, too, and I want to read more.

Hailey Edwards said...

Oooh and I bet he wants to run his fingers through it. *purr*

(Also, my captcha was "geocide." That can't be good.)

Chrystalla Thoma said...

Interesting world-building! Great six.

Linda Morris, Romance writer said...

I like the description of her hair, bright auburn, free and long.

Rebecca Royce said...

Really great descriptive writing. I love it Ella.

Darcy Drake said...

I can't wait for MetalMark! I hope next week brings about snippet.

Laurie A. Green said...

Fabulous snippet. I'm intrigued! Love the cultural shock issue and can imagine what an oddity she must be in his world. I wonder if he finds that a turn on or a turn off?

Awesome title, too. Hope you post more next week.

Lauri J Owen said...

Oh dear! What is going to happen next!?

Susanna Fraser said...

Lovely description and worldbuilding!

Jayel Kaye said...

I somehow think he'll learn to really love long red hair.

laynap said...

Sounds like the Prince is going to love, love, love the hair!

Can't wait to see more from this wip. :)

Alanna Coca said...

I bet he likes it :)

Laura Kaye said...

Ooh, really cool. I want more of HIS reaction. Great 6! And worldbuilding too--woman!

Pippa Jay said...

Yay for auburn hair! Is it a good thing to be 'different' here tho? :-O

Lynne Murray said...

Great six--love the dangerous hair!